February 2011
165 posts
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January 2011
142 posts
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Famous World Ideologies, as explained by...
25/08/2010
Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need.
Bureaucratic Socialism: Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the...
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“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
– Charles Dickens
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Chess Material →
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Two Nuns: (Sister Logical vs Sister Mathematical)
SL: It is getting dark and we are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
N: So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.
N: And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Marys!
The animals in that country
BY MARGARET ATWOOD
In that country the animals
have the faces of people:
the ceremonial
cats possessing the streets
the fox run
politely to earth, the huntsmen
standing around him, fixed
in their tapestry of manners
the bull, embroidered
with blood and given
an elegant death, trumpets, his name
stamped on him, heraldic brand
because
(when he rolled
on...
Anonymous asked: why you up so late?
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A day in the life of Bruce Wayne, expressed by...
chanceisfair:
Waking up:
Brushing teeth:
Alfred serves breakfast:
Coffee gets too hot:
Arrive at Wayne Enterprise:
Read Some Reports:
Go to a meeting
Got bored at the meeting
Read more reports
Go back to the mansion
Saw the bat signal
getting in his suit:
look in the mirror and say “I’M BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Two churches located across the street from each... →
verifascinating:
br0seph:
…Do the Presbyterians think Rocks are animals?
hahahasjdklahsdas omg…. all rocks go to heaven.
Incidentally though, I only recently found on that Jews also don’t attribute souls to animals. You’re not supposed to say kaddish when you mourn your pet like you would for a person. I think that’s disappointing.
